A Special Birthday Party...

As I sit here tonight I cannot seem to compose myself.  I just finished reading a message from a friend in RMI that let me know she talked to Elina.  I had been sad that we didn’t receive a call from her on Rickson’s birthday.  I knew it was also May Day (Marshallese Independence Day) so maybe things were just hectic or got busy.  But it still made me a little bit sad.  So tonight I get this message that said Elina wanted me to know her throat was hurt and she couldn’t talk so that is why she didn’t call us on his birthday.  The message also said that Elina had a birthday party for Rickson even though he wasn’t there.  She had many friends to her home and they had cake to celebrate Rickson!

How can I possibly process this?  All I can do is cry.  I feel like I am standing on the tarmac at the airport waving good-bye to her all over again.  I feel like my heart is being torn out of my chest.  She loves this little boy so much.  She gave him a different life.  A life she wanted for him to have.  But not a day goes by that she doesn’t make him part of her life.  She had a party for him and he wasn’t there?  Oh, my heart… my heart is breaking into a million pieces once again...