Understanding "Gotcha Day"

First family photo - moments after meeting Rickson for the very first time

The importance of Gotcha Day is not something that is often understood outside the world of adoption. But this is such an important event in the lives of those involved, that it should be. It is not some made up Hallmark Holiday, but a life changing event.

This past week I have found myself reliving moments from that week leading up to Gotcha Day one year ago....those moments when I was able to first meet my son. As these memories have overtaken me, I have been able to smile and realize that they are really not that different from those memories leading up to the first birthdday of a biological child. If you have had a biological child, you remember those moments when you were first in labor, how long you were in labor, the moment your child was first laid on your chest, the first time you held your baby and heard him cry, watching him look in your eyes for the very first time.

However, if you are an adoptive parent, you do not have memories of those first moments on your child's birthday. I was not with him to hear his first cry or feel him be laid on my chest. So Gotcha Day becomes that moment. I will never forget that moment... that life changing moment. I will never forget where I was or what I was wearing. Who I was with or what that day was like. Our pregnancy was our paperwork, homestudy and government setbacks. Our doctors visits were visits with social workers and lawyers. Our labor was a 16 hour plane ride to an island nation. Our story is like all adoptive parents, the only difference is the details.

The details for us were Chris recognizing our birthmother from her picture. The details were us immediately getting up from our seats in the hotel restaurant where we were having lunch and proceeding to her side. She was sitting in the hotel lobby where we were staying. The very first moment I saw Rickson, she was holding him in her arms and he was sleeping. The very first thought I had was "look at his hair!". It was all I could see, the very top of his head peaking out of her arms. As she saw us she smiled. I went to her and knelt by her side holding her hand. As she handed this beautiful sleeping baby to me, she pointed to me and looked at him and said "mama". I was his mama! I will never forget it. I held him and I got to feel him pressed to my chest. I got to feel his heart beat next to mine. I got to see him open his eyes and look straight in mine for the very first time. I got to hear him cry and comfort him. This may not have been his birthday, but it was his Gotcha Day. I will never forget the heartwrenching moments in court when the judge asked his birthmother if she understood what she was doing, if this was what she wanted, that she could never change her mind. I will never forget as the judge announced that Rickson Cade Herrell was now our son. We walked in carrying her child and we walked out carrying ours. So Gotcha Day is about so much more than a made up word. For adoptive families, it is our birth day. It is that life changing day when we become parents to our child.

So today as I am flooded with memories I say to my son, Happy Gotcha Day, Rickson Cade Herrell. I love you!