Pins and Needles...

This waiting game is hard. Now, let me acknowledge that we haven’t had to wait long at all! In fact, by the time the baby is born this is only going to be a total of about four months or so. That is incredible! But since I have met Andy and the due date is getting closer and closer, the anticipation has increased. I think about our baby and Andy every minute of the day. This week I bought a little pack n play from a neighbor. I have it up in the family room just waiting for her arrival. I don’t need to have it up, yet, but I can’t help it. Last night we brought up the bassinet that was mine as a baby and we then used with Chase. (Rickson never fit in it). The linens are washed and it is ready, too. Then I wonder how Andy is feeling. How is she today? Is she tired? Is she sleeping? Does she feel the baby is ready? Her hands are swollen and she doesn’t feel good. She felt good last week… what does that mean? Is the baby coming early?

When I was pregnant with Chase I “felt” when things were different. I knew if the baby had dropped. That meant I was close. The doctor gave me weekly updates. The meant I was close. Andy doesn’t see the doctor as often as I did and she doesn’t tell me all the details of her doctor appointments. That isn’t what she focuses on, so I don’t feel it is my right to ask. So I wonder… and I wait…

With Rickson, we weren’t matched with him until he was already born. So I didn’t have to wonder about his birth. Oh, I did have to wait for our travel date and that was HARD. But it is funny how those memories fade away, just as the memory of labor fades. But when you are in the moment like I am now, the wait is so hard.

So today… and tonight… and tomorrow… I am on pins and needles… and I wait and wait.

Oh, I can’t wait!