My Little Orange Blossom...

As we decided on a name for our sweet baby girl, I was truly hoping our trip to Arkansas would culminate with a name decided upon by the birth family and us.  When I asked them what they would like to name her, the response was that they wanted us to choose.  My response was… I really wanted them to choose.  And so the name discussion began.  Lani has been the force behind the names of the other children and Andy smiles as she thinks how he has come up with each of them.  Lani explains how in their family they like to combine family names.  For this baby they thought maybe they could take part of his mothers name (Emwa) and part of her mothers name (Jo Jo Lynn) and combine them to form a name.  After much thinking on the fact that they like combined family names, I suggested combining their names!  What did they think?  Andy and Lani…. Alani.  They loved it.  Andy thought it was so cute and Lani was so happy.  It was settled!  Our baby girl would be Alani and named after her birth mother and father. 

This being said, I had always secretly hoped for a “Hawaiian” name of sorts.  But I didn’t feel I could choose that name.  So coming up with this name with them was beyond perfect.  When I returned home from Arkansas I went to the computer to look up the meaning of Alani.  I knew it was Hawaiian, but had no idea of it’s meaning.  I was happy to see that it was beautiful …  Hawaiian for “Orange Blossom”. 

But there is more to this story!  Many years ago when Chris and I had first talked about adoption and began to move in that direction, we started our journey in the country of Nepal.  Because of government laws, we would be adopting a baby girl.  Now we had just started this process, but I could not help myself when I was at the store and saw a cute Strawberry Shortcake doll.  She had beautiful brown skin and dark brown flowing hair.  I had to have her, so Chris and I purchased this beautiful doll.

As time went on it was clear that we would not be able to adopt from Nepal and the entire adoption program later went on to shut down.  We were, in turn, blessed to find the Marshall Islands and the rest is history!

But I kept that beautiful little doll with the beautiful brown skin tucked away.  When we began this new process of adopting Alani from Arkansas/Marshall Islands, I got that little doll back out.  She has been sitting in Alani’s nursery waiting for her since before we even dreamed of naming her.    

Oh… and the name of the Strawberry Shortcake Doll with the beautiful brown skin and brown flowing hair…  it is Orange Blossom. 

God continues to be in the details!

Pins and Needles...

This waiting game is hard. Now, let me acknowledge that we haven’t had to wait long at all! In fact, by the time the baby is born this is only going to be a total of about four months or so. That is incredible! But since I have met Andy and the due date is getting closer and closer, the anticipation has increased. I think about our baby and Andy every minute of the day. This week I bought a little pack n play from a neighbor. I have it up in the family room just waiting for her arrival. I don’t need to have it up, yet, but I can’t help it. Last night we brought up the bassinet that was mine as a baby and we then used with Chase. (Rickson never fit in it). The linens are washed and it is ready, too. Then I wonder how Andy is feeling. How is she today? Is she tired? Is she sleeping? Does she feel the baby is ready? Her hands are swollen and she doesn’t feel good. She felt good last week… what does that mean? Is the baby coming early?

When I was pregnant with Chase I “felt” when things were different. I knew if the baby had dropped. That meant I was close. The doctor gave me weekly updates. The meant I was close. Andy doesn’t see the doctor as often as I did and she doesn’t tell me all the details of her doctor appointments. That isn’t what she focuses on, so I don’t feel it is my right to ask. So I wonder… and I wait…

With Rickson, we weren’t matched with him until he was already born. So I didn’t have to wonder about his birth. Oh, I did have to wait for our travel date and that was HARD. But it is funny how those memories fade away, just as the memory of labor fades. But when you are in the moment like I am now, the wait is so hard.

So today… and tonight… and tomorrow… I am on pins and needles… and I wait and wait.

Oh, I can’t wait!

Quick Arkansas update...

I know I am past due and owe many of you an Arkansas update!! Well... Arkansas was amazing! It was 12 hours down, 24 hours there and 12 hours back. It was worth every minute! So, as you know, we met Andy and her husband and two boys the first evening. The following morning we planned to meet at 10:00 at the hotel. Andy was on American time and not Island time because she was there right on time! We hung out at the hotel and really spent time getting to know each other. I love Marshallese Bwebewnato - just sitting and “having conversation”. It is what Elina and I loved to do and still continue to do as often as we can even across the ocean! It was so nice to become instantly connected with Andy and be able to do this same thing! Then we went to lunch with Andy and Lani, their two boys and another Marshallese friend. The local Chinese buffet was the restaurant of choice and is now Chase’s new favorite! He later explained to Chris on the phone that “wow, it was all the food you could eat!!” A great introduction to the all you can eat buffet for Chase. After lunch it was back to the hotel for some swimming. And then I got to meet the rest of the family… and their friends… and their families… I believe it was a true Marshallese style swim party. As the ladies and I sat in the shade under the umbrellas, I just sat back and smiled. It was so amazing to be with my Marshallese friends and family again. Even though we had just met, I felt home! As we said goodbye until next time, I felt such peace and excitement. Not just for the baby that is to come, but also for this new relationship I am building and this new family I am gaining. God continues to bless me!

Meeting Andy

So it is Monday morning and I am supposed to be sleeping, but I can't. Here I am in Arkansas and all I can think about is Andy... And the adoption... And the baby... And what she is going through...  Last night we had our first meeting. Wow! It was amazing. We didn't know if we would get to see her, as it was late and she had church. Chase and I arrived at the hotel, got some dinner, settled in and even went swimming. With no way to make contact with her we finally decided she must not be coming. So I washed my face, pulled my hair back and put on my thick glasses. Since I forgot to pack pajamas for chase he was "sleeping" in his clothes. We were in for the night. Then the room phone rang. Andy was in the lobby! We rushed around the room, Chase was jumping up and down and we could hardly get out the door fast enough! We scrambled to the elevator and I tried to compose myself. She was just around the corner! I couldn't believe it! As we walked down the hall, I saw her. She flashed a huge smile and stood up to greet me. She was holding her youngest son, Joshua. He is one. We embraced and then she made introductions to her husband Lani, and three year old Brandon. It couldn't have gone better.  Now as I wake up early this morning with the anticipation of seeing her, I can't stop thinking about why our lives are now intertwined. It is breaking my heart once again to fall in love with this beautiful family that is in a situation where they must part with a child. She told me over and over how excited she was to meet me. She was happy I could speak some Marshallese. She laughed with me and made a lot of jokes (oh, is she funny!). But I am the one adopting her child. This joy is once again combined with sadness. I already love this woman and I barely even know her.

It's a.... GIRL!!!!

So... I know many of you have heard that we are adopting another baby! I have been hesitant to share or post because so much is unknown with a domestic adoption. But here I am in Springdale, Arkansas and I am ready to share. I will post more later on how this surprise adoption came to be, but for now I want you to meet Andy!

A Special Birthday Party...

As I sit here tonight I cannot seem to compose myself.  I just finished reading a message from a friend in RMI that let me know she talked to Elina.  I had been sad that we didn’t receive a call from her on Rickson’s birthday.  I knew it was also May Day (Marshallese Independence Day) so maybe things were just hectic or got busy.  But it still made me a little bit sad.  So tonight I get this message that said Elina wanted me to know her throat was hurt and she couldn’t talk so that is why she didn’t call us on his birthday.  The message also said that Elina had a birthday party for Rickson even though he wasn’t there.  She had many friends to her home and they had cake to celebrate Rickson!

How can I possibly process this?  All I can do is cry.  I feel like I am standing on the tarmac at the airport waving good-bye to her all over again.  I feel like my heart is being torn out of my chest.  She loves this little boy so much.  She gave him a different life.  A life she wanted for him to have.  But not a day goes by that she doesn’t make him part of her life.  She had a party for him and he wasn’t there?  Oh, my heart… my heart is breaking into a million pieces once again...  

I Just Saw Elina...

4/18/12

Today Rickson and I were taking a walk.  He loves to be in the stroller and walk around the neighborhood.  On our walk something made him laugh.  He looked up at me and put his hand over his mouth and laughed.  It took my breath away!  I just saw Elina!  In his eyes, in his laugh, in his expression… it was Elina.  I am so blessed to know his birth mother, to know her eyes, her laugh, her expression.  I am so blessed to see her in my son…