Sunday, July 11, 2010
Emotions
I could sit here and write pages on all that I am experiencing in just these past two days. I could tell you about the total poverty and shacks for homes. I could tell you about the chickens and pigs running around in the streets. I could tell you about the wonderful food I am getting to try…the breadfruit and coconut rice. I could tell you about the absolute beauty of the ocean and lagoon and the rainbows we have seen. But right now all I can tell you about it the overwhelming emotions that we are all feeling. Last night our birthmother asked us if we could keep Rickson with us. This is very unusual since we have not been to court, yet, and he is still her son. So we kept him and it was amazing. We were so happy and excited and Elina really wanted this. Then this morning we met her at the doctor for Rickson’s Visa checkup. I asked her if she was able to get some sleep since she didn’t have to wake up to feed him. She said she did not sleep well because she was sad because she missed Rickson. She showed me with her hands that she cried last night. In the midst of all this excitement of the adoption, there is the ultimate sadness and sacrifice. This is what Elina wants for her son, yet, how can you not experience the sadness. So in the midst of the chaos at the clinic it was all I could do to hold myself together. I just knelt by her and put my hand on her leg hoping she would know I am sad, too.
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Laurie, we've been walking with you all day, and trying to imagine all the emotions that you are going through. You express it so well, yet I know it probably doesn't scratch the surface. There are so many being touched by all of this. God is using you and no one involved will ever be the same! Love you
ReplyDeleteLaurie and Chris,
ReplyDeleteI know that the overwhelming joy you all are feeling is surely being tempered by your understanding about the sacrifice that Rickson's birthmother is making for him. I cannot imagine this. However, we all have the advantage of knowing you all and knowing what a blessing it will be for Rickson that He has brought him to you all. Know that all around this world, people are praying for you and are hanging on every posting. We love you all! Steve
Laurie & Chris,
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful experience for all of you. I have been thinking of you guys and am happy to know you are safe and that things are going so well. You are in our thoughts in prayers and cannot wait to see your family of 4 when you return!
To this day, I have not forgotten the look of sadness in our children's b-mom's eyes. I still say the last day they each saw Olivia and Gavin were the hardest days for us to be a part of. We were beyond happy at this precious new one being part of our family and at the same time, their b-mom's were experiencing the complete opposite emotion.I totally understand what you are going through.
ReplyDeleteLaurie--Meeting your child's birth family changes you in ways you could never have imagined. I would encourage you to take many pictures, many notes, and treasure the time. Praying for your family.
ReplyDeleteYour posting made me weep tonight for so many things - for joy for the way God has blessed our whole family in ways that I would have never even imagined, for Elina and her selfless sacrifice, and for you and the beautiful woman you are. I am so proud to be your mother.
ReplyDeleteI honestly can't put into words what I would really like to say. I'm a dude, so I'm not supposed to admit that I'm crying. It is just a little dusty by my computer and my allergies are acting up. Same excuse I use while reading The Shack. I often look at our little Tori and thank God for her family making a sacrifice to put her up for adoption. In no way can I imagine your emotions of actually meeting the birth mother. Trust in God always. You may be the only witness Elina ever meets.
ReplyDeleteThe Lord is using you all and today is binding two families together forever with love that we really can't understand fully. You all were hand picked for such a time as this. Every posting reveals more of your heart and it is painting a beautiful picture that will continue throughout Rickson's lifetime, and beyond. Love you all and we're praying for you!
ReplyDeleteI am sitting here crying b/c I am overwhelmed trying to figure out how you can possibly deal with all of those mixed feelings. I have you on various prayer chains here and am lifting you up in prayers. Know that I wish I could be there helping you guys and how much I love you all. I can't wait to meet God's most perfect gift He CHOSE to give to you. That in itself should give you such comfort and love inside. You all are such an inspiration on how we should all strive to walk in love and humility. I love you very much and am very proud of you. Please let me know if there is anything more we can be doing for you or sending your way (via your mom's mailbox probably while you're gone!). Thanks for the updates!
ReplyDeleteLaurie--I had a similar experience. Finley's bubu was telling her to call me "momma" upon our 2nd day of meeting them. As I shared with you, the conflicting emotions of joy and sadness through this experience is humbling and overwhelming. You'll surprise yourself in what you feel & think and it can come in spurts or waves of emotions. This is just the beginning. As you bond with your birth family emotions will only magnify and even more so when Chris leaves. I've traveled the same path so I am here to support you in any way.
ReplyDelete