A little bit of sadness...

Elina's cousin, Elina and Alia, Rickson and me and Godfrey waving and crying. We could see Chris and Chase at the window and they waved and waved to us for about a half hour while we waited at the fence to see the plane take off. It roared right over our heads after it taxied down the runway. Went right over us and into the sky full of stars. It was one of the most beautiful and amazing things I have seen. We all told them we loved them as they flew overhead (Ij yokwe eok). It was a very emotional night.

Chase at the airport wearing his necklaces Elina made for him and presented to him before he left.

Last dinner together at the Tide Table Restaurant.

Feeling a little sad tonight. It is amazing how it just hits me out of nowhere. I just miss Chris and Chase so much. Sharing this experience with them was so unbelievable. Having them here beside me made this entire thing right. I just feel lost without them. I did have a really great day. My adoptive friends and I went shopping, visited friends we have made, found some great ice cream at the Payless (thanks Erin) and have had a wonderful day. Then when I came back to the room tonight I just felt overcome with sadness. I know it will pass quickly and tomorrow will be another day full of new experiences. It is just that sometimes I look around the room or walk down to the water and expect to see Chase running around the trees and watching the boats. When he is not there it makes my heart hurt. When I go to dinner I want to share it with him and watch him run back and forth to the room because he thinks he is all grown up. I want to see him giving his baby brother his bottle. I miss him. In only three short weeks, this place is full of memories of them and our time here together. Truly these three weeks have been some of the happiest of my entire life. We are all forever changed because of living Rickson's background, even if only for a little while. Seeing that part of this journey come to a close is the part I wished didn’t have to happen.

I try to think of Elina when I feel sad. She cried at the airport when Chris and Chase left. In just these three weeks she has come to love us as if we have known each other all our lives. The bond we have because of this one small child is unbreakable. When I am sad I think of the sadness she already feels knowing that when Rickson and I walk up those stairs to the airplane, it won’t just be a few weeks until she sees us again. It makes me put things in perspective. As wonderful as this journey has been, it is filled with emotions and sadness in so many different ways.